remembering.

Today is September 4th. Today was to be the due date of our second baby. Instead, our baby was taken to heaven on February 20th at 12 weeks gestation (though he or she, but I think it was a he) only developed to about 5 weeks. I know that some people would think I was crazy for "remembering" a day like today. But, it is really a date that I will never forget. Experiencing loss through miscarriage has been a horrible, yet growing experience for me. I know that God has a purpose for my losses. Maybe one of those was to increase my compassion for others. It's funny because, though a lot of people were/are very sympathetic, most never really acknowledged how much of a loss a miscarriage is. So many people see it as the loss of a pregnancy instead of the loss of a baby...even people who profess to be "pro-life," people who say they believe that life begins at conception. And, I don't know...maybe it's because people don't like to talk about sad things, or bring up something that they know is hard for a person to think about...but I think it's important to acknowledge that miscarriage is the loss of life...the loss of a child that someone loved so much already. Don't get me wrong...I'm thankful that God chose to allow my babies to go home sooner rather than later, but...they were still my babies. So, anyways, today, I remember.

There's a song (as always...lol) that has been especially comforting to me lately. It was written by a woman who knew that her baby would die shortly after birth, while she was still pregnant with that child (Audrey). It's a beautiful song...the first line is, "There were photographs I wanted to take..." So, it fits me perfectly! It talks about our love for our children...and God's love for our children (which is a perfect love). One particular line sticks out to me (spoken as if God was speaking to the writer) is, "I've shown her photographs of time beginning, walked her through the parted sea..." I guess talking about how the things that children (and all saints) see/do in heaven is so much greater than anything here on earth. Anyways...here's the youtube link...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLuaGiu73jc you should listen to it!

I said all that to say, today I remember, but today, I am comforted to know that my babies are in heaven with Jesus and someday I will see them again. What a blessed thought!