He will carry me.

I haven't posted anything in over a month. The day I made my last post, I was planning to post another picture, but ran out of time and thought I would do it the next week. I was going to post these pictures to announce some "big" news:





I didn't ever get to post it, because we soon found out that the baby, due September 4, 2010, was not developing properly. We found out January 27 and had a confirmation ultrasound a week later on February 4 that the baby would not survive. Since then I have been waiting to lose my precious baby. At first, I didn't think that I should post this picture. But, Addison is still a "big sister," just to a baby in heaven instead of one here on earth.

This loss has been harder for me than I ever thought such an ealry loss could be. It's been very difficult waiting (for nearly a month) for it to pass. But, during this time, the Lord has given me so much grace. It's amazing when I look back and see how He prepared the path for me, to make it something I could bear. A few days before, I heard a great message in our revival meeting about loss and trials and how we can choose to draw nearer to God through it or to draw away. When we look to the Lord, and draw nigh to Him, He draws nigh to us. This promise in James 4 has been so true for me. I have also found Psalm 23 to be a big comfort to me during this time as well. When my mind wonders "why?" and my heart hurts, "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul..." Mark Shultz sings a song, "He Will Carry Me" and this song has been a comfort to me as well. Take time to listen to it, if you have a minute (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9JT8XNP3bg). Here are the words:

I call, You hear me. I’ve lost it all And it’s more than I can bear, I feel so empty
You’re strong,I’m weary I’m holdin’ on, But I feel like givin’ in But still You’re with me

And even though I’m walkin’ through The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will Ever need And He will carry me

I know I’m broken, but You alone can mend this heart of mine.You’re always with me.
And even though I feel so lonely, like I’ve never been before.
You never said it would be easy, but You said you’d see me through the storm.

And even though I’m walkin’ through The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will Ever need And He will carry me.

The "end" of the physical part of this trial is starting and will hopefully end soon. The Lord is faithful, and always, always, always carries us through the storm...I am so thankful for this!! And, I'm so thankful that He gave me this precious little girl with a smile to light up every.single.day. I love my little blue-eyed beauty, Addison Ann!